I think I might have found a church. It feels strange to say that. I haven't wanted to go to church in a very long time. I want Grant to be raised going to church, to know the hymns and the traditions and yes, the beliefs. I just don't want him to go through what I went through at churches as a kid.
The church that I've been to twice now is a Missouri Synod Lutheran church. I went to a MS Lutheran church when I was in middle school and for my freshman year of high school, and I was confirmed as a Lutheran. The liturgy at the church I've been visiting is the same as the one I went to in HS. It's very comforting. Lutherans sing quite a bit during their services, and the music is traditional. For this classically trained singer, singing that sort of music feels very good. I've always felt like I worshipped best through music.
My old voice teacher from college is the choir director there. The music is good. He invited me to sing with the church choir, which I think I'm going to do just so that I can sing music that isn't designed for the elementary school crowd. This church just feels right. I'm going to drag Jacob with me next Sunday when he's got a day off; hopefully he'll like it.
I still struggle with feelings of being let down by God, and being angry with God, but I'm trying. I'm finally at a point in my journey where I can say, "I don't understand why you took my baby away, and I'm angry about it, but I'm willing to try to mend the relationship".
Here's to trying.
The church that I've been to twice now is a Missouri Synod Lutheran church. I went to a MS Lutheran church when I was in middle school and for my freshman year of high school, and I was confirmed as a Lutheran. The liturgy at the church I've been visiting is the same as the one I went to in HS. It's very comforting. Lutherans sing quite a bit during their services, and the music is traditional. For this classically trained singer, singing that sort of music feels very good. I've always felt like I worshipped best through music.
My old voice teacher from college is the choir director there. The music is good. He invited me to sing with the church choir, which I think I'm going to do just so that I can sing music that isn't designed for the elementary school crowd. This church just feels right. I'm going to drag Jacob with me next Sunday when he's got a day off; hopefully he'll like it.
I still struggle with feelings of being let down by God, and being angry with God, but I'm trying. I'm finally at a point in my journey where I can say, "I don't understand why you took my baby away, and I'm angry about it, but I'm willing to try to mend the relationship".
Here's to trying.
Posts
July 18, 2010 at 7:50 PM
Feeling at home is the best judge of a church. If you feel comfortable and it makes you feel in touch spiritualy then you may have found the one to fit your needs at this point in your life. I think that it will be good for you in more than 1 way. You will be happy to see Grant growing up with God. You will have the opportunity to meet some new like minded people. You will have the opportunity to sing grown up music, lol. Most importantly maybe it will be the place where you can nurture your relationship with God. I wish you peace and healing.
July 18, 2010 at 10:26 PM
Good for you, Lindsey!! I pray this works well for you!!