I mentioned on my other blog that we're in the process of selling our house so that we can buy a bigger one that will hopefully be the one that we stay in for the next 20-odd years or so. We're looking at pretty nice homes, because 1) we can afford it and 2) we want to be someplace we're reasonably sure will hold value or gain value over time. This brings up interesting comments from my mom.
I love my mom very much. She and I talk about once a day or more. Sometimes, though, I wonder if she knows me at all. While we're talking about house stuff, she made yet another comment that Jacob likes the prestige of having nice things. This confirmed something that Jacob and I have talked about more than once-- that my family sees beeing broke as a sort of badge of honor, and that since Jacob and I earn decent money (that we work very hard for, mind you), we are no longer in the club so to speak. I explained to mom that prestige has nothing to do with it. We work hard, we earn enough money, and we can afford nice things. It would be one thing if we were sinking ourselves into massive debt to pay for nice things, or if we spent money just for the sake of spending money, but I think we manage our money fairly well.
What it boils down to is that my mother disagrees with me working. She thinks that we could make it on just Jacob's salary. It doesn't matter how many times I show her bills vs. income, and that while we could *barely* make our bills on just Jacob's salary, it would allow for absolutely no saving whatsoever and no health insurance. If I work, though, not only can we pay all of our bills, have good benefits and save, but we can also afford nice things and give Grant (and his future sibling) a college fund. She thinks we're being materialistic by making the choice to have me keep working. We think we're being prudent. After Kenneth, I refuse to be without health insurance if I can in any way prevent it. As for savings, well, we all know that expenses pop up when you least expect them.
What kind of hurts about this is the continuing insinuation on the part of my family that we're materialistic. Materialistic people place great importance on things rather than on people. We enjoy having nice things, but if something happened and we lost them, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I don't buy name-brand things unless they're on clearance. I don't get my nails done. I don't carry a Coach purse or wear $300 jeans. We do have 3 vehicles, but 2 of them are paid off, 2 them are 8 years old, and one of them is 5 years old. We'd just have 2, but Jacob's car was given to him outright by his parents, he loves that thing, and he wanted a truck for hauling household things and such, so rather than trade in his car we kept it and bought a 2001 single-cab used truck. My car is a stripped-down Toyota Corolla with over 100,000 miles on it, and it's the car I use for commuting back and forth to work. You wouldn't believe how much flack we get for having three vehicles. It'd be one thing if we had three brand-new vehicles, or even if we had two brand-new vehicles....but we don't.
Jacob and I are trying to make sure that Grant has a good start in life, and that we don't end up in our retirement years with absolutely nothing. My parents are 51 and 49, and they have no savings whatsoever. I'm not faulting them for that-- most of the reasons that they're without savings are things that were completely beyond their control. I just would like to do my best to keep Jacob and I out of the same position. If we save and invest now, with any luck we'll have enough set back to carry us through emergencies and retirement alike. A house is an investment, not just a place to live. If Jacob and I work hard, there's nothing wrong with also having nice things and a nice place to live. I wish my mom would see it that way too.
Maybe it's my perspective that's off here?? Tell me honestly, guys-- are we materialistic?
I love my mom very much. She and I talk about once a day or more. Sometimes, though, I wonder if she knows me at all. While we're talking about house stuff, she made yet another comment that Jacob likes the prestige of having nice things. This confirmed something that Jacob and I have talked about more than once-- that my family sees beeing broke as a sort of badge of honor, and that since Jacob and I earn decent money (that we work very hard for, mind you), we are no longer in the club so to speak. I explained to mom that prestige has nothing to do with it. We work hard, we earn enough money, and we can afford nice things. It would be one thing if we were sinking ourselves into massive debt to pay for nice things, or if we spent money just for the sake of spending money, but I think we manage our money fairly well.
What it boils down to is that my mother disagrees with me working. She thinks that we could make it on just Jacob's salary. It doesn't matter how many times I show her bills vs. income, and that while we could *barely* make our bills on just Jacob's salary, it would allow for absolutely no saving whatsoever and no health insurance. If I work, though, not only can we pay all of our bills, have good benefits and save, but we can also afford nice things and give Grant (and his future sibling) a college fund. She thinks we're being materialistic by making the choice to have me keep working. We think we're being prudent. After Kenneth, I refuse to be without health insurance if I can in any way prevent it. As for savings, well, we all know that expenses pop up when you least expect them.
What kind of hurts about this is the continuing insinuation on the part of my family that we're materialistic. Materialistic people place great importance on things rather than on people. We enjoy having nice things, but if something happened and we lost them, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I don't buy name-brand things unless they're on clearance. I don't get my nails done. I don't carry a Coach purse or wear $300 jeans. We do have 3 vehicles, but 2 of them are paid off, 2 them are 8 years old, and one of them is 5 years old. We'd just have 2, but Jacob's car was given to him outright by his parents, he loves that thing, and he wanted a truck for hauling household things and such, so rather than trade in his car we kept it and bought a 2001 single-cab used truck. My car is a stripped-down Toyota Corolla with over 100,000 miles on it, and it's the car I use for commuting back and forth to work. You wouldn't believe how much flack we get for having three vehicles. It'd be one thing if we had three brand-new vehicles, or even if we had two brand-new vehicles....but we don't.
Jacob and I are trying to make sure that Grant has a good start in life, and that we don't end up in our retirement years with absolutely nothing. My parents are 51 and 49, and they have no savings whatsoever. I'm not faulting them for that-- most of the reasons that they're without savings are things that were completely beyond their control. I just would like to do my best to keep Jacob and I out of the same position. If we save and invest now, with any luck we'll have enough set back to carry us through emergencies and retirement alike. A house is an investment, not just a place to live. If Jacob and I work hard, there's nothing wrong with also having nice things and a nice place to live. I wish my mom would see it that way too.
Maybe it's my perspective that's off here?? Tell me honestly, guys-- are we materialistic?
Posts
August 2, 2009 at 2:02 PM
Not at all. Tell your mom to hit Lakeway or Westlake for a bit.
August 3, 2009 at 7:50 PM
You are not materialistic at all. You are smart. If I could afford to be saving right now I would.
I want to buy a house but have to first improve my credit and maybe save some money for down payment. The sale of your house is smart with what you know of the area. You will probably get the most for you house now versus later, and it's not like the price range that you guys are looking at is all that high. This is a long term investment and you want to be happy there for a long time. I love your mom, but she is just wrong.